Follow the exit sign out

Please make yourself familiar with the two exit signs found in the front and the rear of the venue. Be aware that in case of an emergency, don't panic, but organize in an orderly fashion; identify the safest, nearest and most effective route of exit and depart using this path. Know that while no one wants to face a moment of refuge, life presents itself with unexpected situations in which you have no other choice but to flee to ensure your own survival. Please do keep in mind that no one wants to leave behind love ones, let the familiar perish, replace the comfort of the known with the uncertainty of the unknown, but sometimes when there's a fire, you lose it all: belongings, lives, comfort zones, familiarity, memories...

So all, in case of a fire identify the exit signs and always look forward, never look back...you might get caught in the flames ablaze, igniting memories that burn, that scar you for the rest of your life.

In 2006 I had a fire, a symbolic fire, and my house burned down. I haven't gotten over yet. I don't know if I ever will. But until i seize the flames, it will continue to engulf me into the memories of what was, and what I dream could still be but never will.

I lived in the same house 2088 Ryer Avenue since I was born until I was 18 years old. I never altered locations and left my temple of familiarity until I decided to go away to college when I was 17 years old. It was one of my most difficult transitions and with many tears I conquered my homesickness and triumphed my defining moment. With me away at college, my mother had a few epiphanies of her own, resulting in a series of self meditations that drew her to sell our home. Upon returning for my first semester break from college, the great return home, she, without consideration, discussion or warning informed me on her plans. The next few months my life spiraled out of control, and without proper understanding of the situation I resented her, and resent her still (but let me not get ahead of myself). By March 2006 spring break, my home, filled with boxes, my sanctuary, and subsequently the sepulchre of my heart, was no longer mine. This home that encased my memories, my identity and my security became the manifestation of my sense of abandonment.

I never got to say goodbye.

That March was the last time I would inhabit a place I knew as paradise, evy's paradise, the garden of eve, the first creation in which I was created, where I was risen and where my soul was murdered and left to decay. My mother packed my belongings and I never relished the pain of saying good bye, of crying please don't do this to me, to protest that maybe physically it wasn't home but that years will go by and my heart will forevermore be a prisoner to 2088.

I am a prisoner of 2088. I am bound and gagged and i like it. It continues to control me subconsciously and I want it to, because I just want to go back home.

The following four years after the great fire has been greatly influenced by the burning of my home, of my heart, of my sense of self. I absolve myself from all responsibility given that I became a puppet, a robot, a mindless creature with no sense of existence separate from 2088.

The first summer back....TO BE CONTINUED... "The things we lost in the fire"