New Year: WHEN DID UGLY BECOME THE NEW SEXY?

He's ugly.
yes, yes, he is just ugly.
I mean, he's not a monster or anything....but he has not one attractive feature on his face.
I mean...
He probably could pass for some kind of animal...
Yes he had to be a monkey in his former life....yes....evolution failed him, stopped a stage too short and Darwin totally fucked him over.

Then why do you want him so bad?

Because his primitive looks makes me hot. This caveman rubbed his stick together and ignited a fire!

Is it sick that the fact that he is so unattractive is what draws me to him?

Ugly is the new sexy. I am now sure of this. And what better way to bring in the new year with a sexy contradiction?
***
I've been thinking about my caveman all day and the thought of his ugly ass makes me so excited I can barely contain myself.

I think what makes him so irresistible is that it is no surprise that he is unattractive, I'm sure he knows this, but he is so confident and charismatic and fun. This inner sex appeal seeps through his pores and intoxicates you. I can't stop thinking about him.

And why does this all matter?

Ugly being the new sexy makes me wonder what this means for the new year?

Last night for one moment, just ONE very BRIEF moment, I thought about HIM. The fact that HIM and HER met on that very same day a year ago and that they were probably celebrating their one year anniversary and that maybe as I brought in the new year with family and friends and my love for alcohol and fashion...he was spending it completely submersed in his love for HER. for only a second the thought saddened me. I caught myself glaring out to the disco lights and the mass of people enjoying themselves on the dance floor. It all seemed so insignificant.

I thought how if maybe I would have picked up that phone call at 12am Jan 1 2009 he would probably still be mine. The responsibility and alcohol weighed heavily on my eyelids, tears pooling and wanting so badly to make their way to the surface but I wouldn't bring the new year in such dramatic despair. Imagine, waterworks in the middle of a club? That is just too manic, even for me.

So instead i took another cup of Henney to the face and plastered a pseudo-grin to my face and before I realized, it was real...and there was laughter and joy. Not even Bachata could trigger nostalgia anymore. Sometimes....sometimes...alcohol numbs the pain...and when it doesn't, it makes you hysterical.

Lucky, no hysteria.

This is my year and I can't allow HIM and nostalgia and the thoughts of what were and what are and what could of been but never really would have been hinder my life. It is impossible to erase...but try...

TRY.

So I grabbed my caveman and danced the night away and before I realized what was going on there was a chemistry I hadn't felt in a really long time. For the first time I was STARLIGHT without HIM. and now I am certain that I was STARLIGHT because of ME, not because of HIM.

so this year I am going to be STARLIGHT AND STARDUST and glitter the world with my talents.

"DON'T CALL ME EVY. YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ONE LIKE THIS BEFORE"