Saturday, May 23, 2009

Welcome to Diary cyberspace...

Welcome to the Garden of Eve, this is my paradise. In the Garden of Eve, we are able to enter into the world and the mind of woman, for she is often shadowed my man. But in my paradise she is the maker, the creator of all that is good, and all that is bad, for what is bad without the good? My life is the taste of ambivalence, my forbidden fruit is like a fabulous oxymoron and all the apples are readily accessible for your tasting. So, to all who follow Eve, take a taste test, for isn't life just a series of taste tests, trial and errors? Life is a cliche, bitter-sweet, but it is our duty to individualize and personalize every experience, to make that cliche into our own struggles, our own happiness, our lives. I hope that this introduction gives you some insight into who i am and the type of person I am. Truth is that I am melodramatic, and my life is at best played out life a tragic telenovela, because I live my life in grandeur, like a series of theatrical gestures. My life is dynamic. So I'm pressing PLAY, just sit back and watch and if you feel inclined to comment then please feel free to participate in the show. ready. set. ACTION!

I figured that this was the perfect time to enter the world of blogging. I always wanted to blog, but found myself escaping and releasing on the traditional pages of my diaries. Unfortunately my last diary reached its end and when searching for its replacement, I failed. Everything happens for a reason, so I decided why not create a cyberspace diary. Welcome to my cyberspace. I'd like to introduce this blogging episode(yes they will play out like episodes in the series of my life) with a short fiction piece I wrote(I am a fiction writer). It is still under construction but I think it really serves as a great introduction:

Walking On Air:

I’m so tired of dying. In my dreams I’m dying all the time. And when I awake I go through life with a kaleidoscopic mind. I never stop dreaming. I never stop dying. I am always walking on air, mindlessly and effortlessly drifting through a pastiche of episodic realities.

Stepping foot outside, the air is electric. The wind like waves of current running up and down my body, recharging me. It’s not like this everyday, but today the voltage has so much energy it leaves me restless, numbing the tips of my fingers. When it’s this bad I try to shake the feeling, but I can’t find my way through the swirling space. I can only see the electricity dancing in the wind like the inside of wires, like cyberspace. I close my eyes and the light attacks me like meteors, catastrophic ink blots that stain the inside of my eyelids. I envision them like crystallized eye shadow; I want to paint my eyelids like a peacock. In my dreams, sometimes I am a peacock, beautiful and exotic and terrifying. Sometimes I’m a flamingo. I’m not always an animal. Sometimes I’m a character from fairy tales; I was the mad hatter once. I reincarnate. Only when I am myself do I die. Sometimes I die more than once. Each night I look forward to dying, hoping to come back as someone different.

When I look around I think there are trees lining the sides of the streets, and parallel-parked cars and tall buildings that are tired of being so tall all the time. These buildings fell once; they couldn’t stand it anymore and just gave out. I stood underneath while the grey weeping buildings dismantled, blocks of cement crashing to pavement, harsh blows knocking me unconscious and into consciousness. I think I died that night, but I woke up too soon to tell.
The world around me is an unfamiliar familiarity. I know I’ve been here many times before. It feels like home after watching a horror film, making your way through the darkness victimized by the imagination. I can see millions of Nanoparticles and megapixels. I look down at my numb fingers; this is what I look like in a photograph. I think I’m inside of a digital camera. I want to be in high definition but I haven’t evolved that far. I feel fragmented and abstract like the distorted street that breaks apart into perfect asymmetrical shapes, like Tetris pieces, like Pez candies, like fantasies.


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I hope you enjoyed it.

This story is a good foundation for today's episode because last night I really did have a dream that I was dying. It made me contemplate death, but even more so, life. How many times do we complain about the many struggles we face and underestimate all the great things we should be grateful for? But isn't that what makes us human? I like to complain. I think it's engraved in my DNA or something, maybe because of my drama queen nature. I just make everything a lot more complicated that it needs to be, but that's what's most fun about being Evy anyway. What do you guys think about the nature of life and death?

Anyway, I have been really interested in heart break. After recently being emotionally destroyed I've been dreaming a lot. Mostly about him...and HER...but that is just a preview for the next episode. Please come back soon to read on my next topic: HEARTBREAK!

2 comments:

  1. Evy...you must be a writer for all the days you live...and you are my little peacock in real life not just in your fantasies.

    hehe.

    Guess who?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey why did it say my name lmao ooops

    ReplyDelete